Last week of summer vacation already.. where did the time go? Three long and hot summer months has definitely got the family closer.. in fact a lot closer than you can imagine. Yes..we were all couped up together directly under the fan or AC, wherever we went. Eat, Play, Sleep, Repeat..What a fun routine it was!! Life is a delight when we are not expected to meet any expectations or deadlines.
Now, with the new academic year lurking ahead of us, there is this mixed bag of emotions sitting heavily on my mind. Feelings of excitement, anxiety, fear and relief take turns as I look forward to the “Big Change”. This is the year, when my little one is going to take his first steps into a play school. Separation anxiety – Not just for the child, even for the otherwise knowledgeable mom like me is impossible to brush off aside easily. Just the thought of sending the child away to school on his own is making me feel extremely nervous with tears welling up in my eyes.
As a paranoid mom, I have a major problem letting go of my children. I went through the same ordeal while my daughter started schooling when I used to wait outside the school gate for more than a month, because my daughter just wouldn’t stop crying. She took the longest time to settle down and make friends.
Nobody knows a child like a mother. One look is sufficient for the mom to know what the child feels, needs and expects. Even while understanding that it is crucial for his overall development, exposing him to face the outside world without my support seems to the cruelest thing to do, atleast for now.
“Mummy, You didn’t say Bless you to me” complains my little one even if he was two rooms away and I didn’t hear him sneeze. How will he be away from me for 3 hours?
When feeding a new vegetable, I ask him whether it was nice. Wanting to give a compliment without hurting my feelings, he says “Mummy, the water is nice”. Will he be hungry at school without the loving hands of the mom to feed?
“Mummy, Do you like the white horse or the black horse?” asks my little one. If I don’t pick the right one in his mind, he reprimands me with “No.. YOU LIKE BLACK HORSE”. Will the teacher be able to play along giving him the needed attention?
“Mummy, I got a boo boo” my little one comes running to me whenever he gets hurt. “Where? Here??” I kiss the spot and say “It is alright now”. He thanks me and gets back to his play. Will he find such reassurance and comfort elsewhere?
I have done similar things for my daughter also. Even with that experience, nothing seems to have changed inside me. I am still the same nerve wrecking mess I was, which only proves
“The more things change, the more they remain the same..”