What to do after “I Do”


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One day while shopping, a fellow shopper smiles at you. When you smile back, you receive a compliment about the dress you are wearing and how great you are looking that leads to some more small talk and phone number exchange. Although awkward initially, you may begin to think that all that gym workouts are finally paying off as your charm is fetching new friends. Soon enough, you receive a call from the new friend who just happens to be in your neighbourhood. After the customary chitchat, you find out that the friend is actually selling multi-level marketing products and the friendship is a ploy to induct you as a member of their group. The disappointment and the trapped feeling that follows this conversation are similar to how average people feel after buying the rosy concept of marriage.

“Marriage is a Gamble – the biggest risk anyone has taken in their life.” claim a few. The odds of getting what you want to achieve happiness, success and progress is akin to rolling the dice, as luck plays a major role. Remember we are talking about the majority of marriages in a society like ours, where marriage does not only change the lives of two individuals, but two families. Everything from the characteristics, emotions and feelings of people change with time and the circumstances. Hence, to the naked eyes, it may look as if the idea of a successful marriage is a myth, whereas it is definitely possible if conscious honest efforts are made from all those involved.

The institution of Marriage thrives on mutual love, respect, understanding and support. To define it differently – Marriage is a game where two committed individuals play for one team with an understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses towards a common goal with equal responsibility. In a way, it is an investment for a happy and secure future for the whole family. Children who see their parents in love, look at the world enthusiastically as a happy place where dreams are carefully shaped into reality.

There are different schools of thoughts about marriage. Two like minded people getting married leads to boredom as there won’t be any surprise elements in the relationship. Some might say Opposites attract – preferring to marry someone totally unlike them which leads to a lot of conflicts later on. Either way, one has to understand that extreme care is needed to nurture and nourish the relationship. Life partners should be able to share their joy, sorrow, thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams with each other while making combined decisions on important life altering matters. It is however unrealistic to expect our spouse to agree on all our ideas and healthy disagreements on trivial issues should be encouraged. Compromise is the only keyword which helps in making any partnership work.

Nobody is perfect and all of us have flaws. Accepting the imperfections of ours and others will help us overcome life’s challenges more easily. It is not as easy as it sounds since acceptance / tolerance comes only with practice. Expressing your love in gestures, if not in words helps keep the spark alive in a long term relationship. Giving undue importance to ego will only damage the magical bond that you built with your valuable love and dreams. Let go of petty misunderstandings, stay loyal, make efforts to keep your loved ones happy and change your attitude in attaining a better home life.

In conclusion, after saying “I Do” – Do Balance your Marriage in such a way that both you and your spouse feel equally valued.

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